“I will stop, after I get married”
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Many people make self-declarations about stopping a bad habit. They know it is a problem and they have been dealing with its painful consequences.
In their commitment to stop, they make declaration to stop…stop AFTER they get married.
“Not being married is so hard on me, I will completely stop staring at women, after I get married“
“Gosh, I have such a bad temper. I am always blowing up at my parents. I regret doing this. I will stop after I get married.“
These declarations are so false. Getting married doesn’t automatically help you drop any habit. You still have to work on stopping it, married or not. Such vows are weak and the person isn’t serious about dropping the habit, it is just a false justification to continue doing what they are doing. The truth is, people carry over their bad habits into marriage and their negative effects are usually amplified.
If you cant control your temper with your parents, you will have a short fuse with your husband too.
If it wasn’t bad enough that Allah (swt) saw you staring at other women, how about when you wife catches your wondering eyes.
What a way to start your marriage !
These examples are so TRUE. It happens to couples all the time.
Humans aren’t perfect, we are always are struggling with ourselves. As Muslims, we have the ancestors to follow, the Companion of the Prophet (s) and all the other prophets before him.
As soon as they realized they had to stop something that displeased Allah, they would abandon it immediately.
If you are single, start identifying and working on your bad habits now. Marriage doesn’t wash them away.
If you are married stop making the same type of excuses.
“I will stop, after my first child is born.“
Successful people take action immediately, don’t wait, do it.
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It’ll just lead to future supposed change times. After we get married, we find that we don’t change, so then we’ll say “okay, after my first kid.” Then that doesn’t work, after I move. Then that doesn’t work, after I go on Hajj. And years go by before they even go on Hajj.
It’s all a vicious cycle Shaytan is loving the whole way. May Allah protect us.
Salam bro!
Wow! Loved what you have writing. It is hard for many of these men you talk about to change. Change takes lots of action and accountability and that comes with breaking the habit. You seem like a sincere, non-confused Muslim man. I have a feeling you are married.
And I mean written NOT writing