Top 4 Qualities of an Excellent Mentor
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All of us are trying to figure out how to do something for the very first time; Start a business, study for CPA exam & pick a career path. Regardless, of the thing, the best way of doing it is by finding a mentor.
Benefits of a Mentor
One of the ways to do thing successfully & take the short-cut is by finding a mentor for that goal. Someone who already have been through the process, learned from their mistakes and know how to do it best. You do not need to figure out a new way when you can copy someone else success secret.
The Anti-Mentor, Mr. 2-Cents
Opposite of seeking advice from a mentor is asking advice from those who are in close proximity to you. We unconciously take in everything we hear, unless, we conciously filter it. This often leads to a lot bad advice. Look out in consuming what comes out of the mouth of Mr. 2-cents, the person who has advice for everything. He might have not done the thing you are trying to achieve successfully or they are giving advice according to the circumstances that apply to them but not you. Bad information will slow you down, take you down wrong roads. Be selective in taking in what people say. Evaluate the speaker before taking in what they say.
So how do you identify who is an excellent mentor for you ?
- He has done what you want to accomplish, successfully. This is the most crucial charctersitic. Too often, we seek advice from people who are in the process themself or who were trying to do it but have quit. We usually have easy access to them and thats why we turn to them but why would you want to ask directions from someone who hasn’t reached their destination? A bonus, if they have done what you want multiple times, then they are even better.
- He has accomplished it to the highest degree. So now you have narrowed down the list of people who have done it. Even amongst these people, they aren’t all equal. Some have barely accomplished it while others did it to the highest degree. Descriminate from amongst them. Though they may share similar advice, what made some shine will be in the slight variation & attitudes.
- He is proud of his accomplishment. It might seem that anyone successful in what they do would be proud of it but it isn’t necassarly the case. For example, often times, successful businessmen encourage their children to get safe reliable jobs. They think grass is greener on the other side. They accidently landed in their successes but won’t last too long. Shy away from them, they’ll only be discouragement.
- He is a source of encouragement. Mentor needs to be more of a supportive coach then a pushy consultant. You need the mentor in times of confusion or lack of hope, their encouraging words, will carry you forward.
Reach out & touch them
The more you narrow down your list, more you realize that you know of this awesome mentor but don’t know him personally. To avoid all the pitfalls and learn the shortcuts, it is worth hustling to get some one-on-one time with them. After couple of time they’ll recognize your drive. You don’t need your mentor at all times but when you do you need to know how to get hold of them. Build that relationship.
“I will stop, after I get married”
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Many people make self-declarations about stopping a bad habit. They know it is a problem and they have been dealing with its painful consequences.
In their commitment to stop, they make declaration to stop…stop AFTER they get married.
“Not being married is so hard on me, I will completely stop staring at women, after I get married“
“Gosh, I have such a bad temper. I am always blowing up at my parents. I regret doing this. I will stop after I get married.“
These declarations are so false. Getting married doesn’t automatically help you drop any habit. You still have to work on stopping it, married or not. Such vows are weak and the person isn’t serious about dropping the habit, it is just a false justification to continue doing what they are doing. The truth is, people carry over their bad habits into marriage and their negative effects are usually amplified.
If you cant control your temper with your parents, you will have a short fuse with your husband too.
If it wasn’t bad enough that Allah (swt) saw you staring at other women, how about when you wife catches your wondering eyes.
What a way to start your marriage !
These examples are so TRUE. It happens to couples all the time.
Humans aren’t perfect, we are always are struggling with ourselves. As Muslims, we have the ancestors to follow, the Companion of the Prophet (s) and all the other prophets before him.
As soon as they realized they had to stop something that displeased Allah, they would abandon it immediately.
If you are single, start identifying and working on your bad habits now. Marriage doesn’t wash them away.
If you are married stop making the same type of excuses.
“I will stop, after my first child is born.“
Successful people take action immediately, don’t wait, do it.
